Seeing Beyond the Pain

A reflection by Karen Sanderson, LPN

Not long ago, I cared for a young woman recovering from a serious accident. She had endured multiple injuries and surgeries, and her mother sat quietly at her bedside, exhausted, protective, andfilled with the kind of worry only a parent can know.

During report, I was told the patient could be “demanding.” She wanted her medications on time, to the minute, and often grew frustrated when that didn’t happen. But as I prepared to meet her, I reminded myself that every behavior tells a story, and that sometimes, what looks like anger is really fear, pain, or loss of control.

When I entered her room, she was in tears. She felt unseen, unheard, and powerless. Instead of reacting, I slowed down. I explained what I was doing, gave her choices, and let her know I was listening. That small shift — giving her control where she had none — changed everything. Her tone softened, her anxiety eased, and her pain seemed a little lighter.

I cared for her again the next day. During my shift, I changed the dressing on her external fixation pins, the first change since surgery. She had already received her routine pain medication, but I saw genuine pain on her face as I worked. Every time I accidentally bumped the metal frame, she winced and cried. So I administered a breakthrough pain medication that had been ordered for that exact reason, to relieve severe pain beyond her regular dose.

When the next nurse came on, she was frustrated. She said,“Now she’ll expect those between her routine doses, since you told her she can have them.

” I explained that the medication was given because she truly needed it — not because she asked for it, but because she deserved relief during a painful procedure.

That moment stayed with me. Too often, we in healthcare forget that patients aren’t trying to make our jobs harder — they’re trying to survive an experience they never asked for. When we let frustration or convenience decide our care, we lose sight of what nursing really is: compassion in action.

Empathy doesn’t create more work, it creates trust. And trust heals.

Our patients are more than their behaviors. Behind every sigh, every demand, every tear, there’s fear, exhaustion, and sometimes trauma too deep to put into words. We are their safety net in the storm.

I’ll never apologize for putting my patient’s needs first. Because real nursing isn’t about getting through the shift, it’s about showing up for the human being in the bed.

The Calm Journal: From Karen’s Heart 💗

🌸 Grace in the Everyday ✨

Finding calm when life feels heavy.

Encouragement and simple resets for everyday life, from Karen’s heart 💗

Finding Calm When Life Feels Heavy 💖

🌿 1. Celebrate the Small Wins

Even tiny steps count.

Returning one phone call

Folding one load of laundry

Taking a shower

They may not seem like much, but they matter.

They prove that even on hard days, you’re still showing up.

🌸 2. Do the Next Thing You Can

You don’t have to do it all. Pick one step and make it easier.

Order dinner instead of cooking.

Tackle just one corner instead of the whole house.

Small choices lighten the load and remind you that progress is possible.

☀️ 3. Rest Without Guilt

Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause.

Close your eyes for five minutes.

Step outside for fresh air.

Take a nap without apologizing.

Rest isn’t weakness—it’s choosing peace.

🌷 4. Notice the Good Things

Write them down, even the little ones:

Sunlight hitting your face

A glass of water when you’re thirsty

A smile from someone passing by

These tiny joys can ground you when your mind feels like it’s spinning.🤝

🤝 5. Remember You’re Not Alone

This road can feel isolating, but you’re not walking it by yourself.

Call a friend

Share honestly with someone you trust

Let small reminders of goodness encourage you

Behind every smile at the grocery store or every co-worker pushing through their own struggles—there’s proof you’re

not falling behind. You’re human. You’re enough.

💭 Closing Thoughts

You don’t need perfection. You just need to keep breathing, keep showing up, and keep reminding yourself that today

is enough.